Tuesday, July 8, 2008

As If Ako...


A few weeks from today will mark the fourth anniversary of the death of my friend Chikako Atsuta. Had she maybe taken a moment longer to leave for work on that brilliant August morning in 2004, Ako would have simply been 39 years and 202 days old. Instead, she perished beneath the wheels of a lumber truck on a city street while riding her bike to work, and those precious few years and days were all she got. Some of her ashes and bits of bone are buried under a bench overlooking the sea in her beloved Gloucester, Massachusetts. The rest of her earthly remains are interred at her family’s shrine in Osaka.

Ako, an artist, author and poet (and amazingly, incongruously, Tiger Woods’ webmaster), had just e-mailed me something she had written in the early morning hours of her last day. It was a short poem describing her feelings about the sterility of the sports marketing office in which she worked. Nearly all of it was forgotten in the grief of the ensuing hours, days and weeks, and especially in my own misplaced guilt over not responding to her message immediately upon reading it that morning (and by doing so perhaps delaying her just enough to take her safely out of synch with an anonymous, inexperienced truck driver). The opening line, however, carried more irony and coincidence than I or any of her friends could stand.

“The air is dead, and so am I”

Ako was the most passionate worshipper of art and the natural and spiritual world I have ever met, which made the manner of her demise even harder to accept. That evening I was reminded of the grace and magic of the world in which Ako was so enmeshed. As I was leaving to meet my best friend and his wife and daughter for dinner at the 99 Restaurant in Waltham, I found myself bombarded by the most spectacular hailstorm I have ever witnessed, and afterwards, by an equally unsurpassed sunset below the dark receding storm clouds. The temptation to begin the next sentence with the words “it was as if…” is as strong now as it was that night when I toasted her memory with people she didn’t know at a restaurant she would have hated.

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